Sigh*..

Neü's Stuck in a Hard place ... A very hard place... And frankly, I don't know what to do this time.. Regardless of what I do, someone's going to get hurt..

Sigh*

To say that I've been neglecting my baby is far more than just an understatement.. Have I been that busy? Hm. Not really.. at least not since school has ended. My vacation isn't cracking up to be all I expected t be but nonetheless it's still a nice break from the cold and gloomy weather of the Fax.. I finally got to dip my head into the glistening ocean after visiting it THREE times. Rawr.

I got to hang out with my friends. It's one adventure after another, be it one we wanted or not... The surprises keep coming.. and coming..

So.. Update?? All but one of my grades are out.. so far it's more than I expected to tell you the truth. This semester was BRUTAL. Three jobs and 5 courses? Overkill. Complete Overkill. Not to mention a long distance relationship.. sigh* It's work. School still takes full priority, regardless.. and it always will.

My hair situation?? MUCH better than the last time i showed up here.. but still. ECk. It goes back to dry and dull two days after I've gotten it down. But it's still soft as cotton. Which makes me all the more upset ! It just points into whatever direction it finds itself into. This dehydration is killing me... Still I'll try. The amount of growth in this thing right now is woah. I'm waiting till the weekend of my leave for the ice-land to get rid of all the waves, curls and kinks...

I'm staring out the window while I type, all i see is grey... the water is coming in through the windows but I'm in no mood to go close them... Buddy's right there on the chair, fast asleep. So I've taken his laptop hostage.. Iiii Rrr Hungry !

I'll just be saying random bits of whatever ... My thoughts are far too disorganized..

This year was the first time we hadn't put up a tree.. . I'm still a present fanatic though, so I got something for everyone. I like seeing them Smile =)

Anything else to talk about? :/ ...

The one party of the season I was looking forward to turned out to not be as much fun as I expected.. All my friends couldn't make it... He didn't show up either... so I really didn't have a ball... Left early. I have about 1 1/2 weeks left in this vacation and I don't really see it getting much better... Unless you could that surprise I'm expecting on New Years =D !..

But I mean, I don't see myself going anywhere special.. As much as I want to, I don't think it'll happen unless I really do go myself. But that's not much fun, now is it? sigh* .

Has life just become a giant Bore?? I've lost all motivation to do anything ! I came down with my text books to be ahead and I've probably read what? 5 pages? hm. I didn't even bring Michelangelo with me. PERFECT time to read.  .

No use fussing over it now.

I do hope that everyone's having a fantastic vacation !

I wont be seeing this island again for many another 12 months =( Depression? Yes. sigh* ..... But we gotta do what we gotta do right? ...

That's all for now..

Neu.

Today my tears streamed down my face..
I haven't cried that way in so long..
How can you see me in pain and do nothing about it?
Knowing that I hadn't done you wrong..?

When I ask to leave, I'm just hoping you'd want me to stay..
To let me know everything will be ok..
But all you do, is just let me go...

I always say that I Love You..
I always let you know how i feel
I let the WOrld know how I feel about you..
Why can't you do the same for me?

Why do I always get shut down?
Why do I feel like I'm not good enough?
Why do they get so much of you?
Why do I feel like you want so little of me..

I miss the days when i felt longed for..
The days you'd hold on so tightly..
The days where we were all that mattered in a moment..
The days when you made me feel.. Neü.

I thought of you today...
And I had to fight so hard so that I would not break down...
Why do you cross my mind so often?
Why do I dream of you at night?
Why do I relate everything I do to something we've done?
Every time I see a guy, I compare him to you...
The way he looks, the way he walks, the way his fingers never appear quite the way yours do...
I miss your voice, and even your hair...
The way we'd just lay next to each other and gaze..
No friendship is like the one we've had...
No one speaks to me the way you do...
No one makes me laugh the way you do..
No one makes me mad the way you do.. .   .
No one makes me get over it as fast as you do...
I miss the fights we never had..
And the arguments that never came up..
The way you'd spend everyday with me, and let me know that it's the only thing you ever looked forward to...
I miss being your reason,
I miss making you smile..
I miss being help by you..
But I'll never miss you being the reason I cry..
Because even now that we're a thousand miles apart, I still shed tears for you..
I still shudder at the thought that I may lose you..
A part of me just wants... us..

Neü..

      Steve Jobs has made me so happy over the past years. And I'm not being ridiculous.. Music plays such a giant role in my life it's unbelievable.. I really have no idea what I would have done without my iPod.. It's gotten me through so much.. and you might say that it does the same job as any other mp3 player out there but it really doesn't. Not to me.. The interface, the size, the feel, Everything. I thank Timmy so much for introducing me to iTunes. I haven't stopped using it since he told me about it. Even following you on Twitter was a blast. I do HOPE it was you. Your tweets made me laugh my butt off...

      Back when I was a little kid, our first pc was an Apple. I remember all the games we had on there. Even their  card game was different. Solitaire was foreign to me then... And then I got my MacBook Pro.. [Michaelangelo]. One of the best things that I've ever owned.. So many  people say that Apple is worth nothing more than the name, but I adore all the products I've used. Everything's more fun, and the speed is amazing. Even the way the Apple logo glows through the screen from the other side.. Pure Brilliance that man. And my iBaby...... I'm even more upset now that I lost you.. I took you Everywhere. We did Everything together... You did so much for me.. You'd swear I was writing about some Guy. Heh. No. This is my Lover. . My iLover..

     So here I say Thank You Steve. You've done a lot for me, and a lot for the rest of the world. You've revolutionized every bit of technology that you've gotten your hands on. I can honestly say, that you will be missed, and all your hard work is greatly appreciated.


Love,
Neü

Seeing that picture of you reminds me of someone that I miss so madly... It's exactly the type of thing he'd like.. The outfit, the pose, the contrast. Everything. .. ....

We'll Miss You.

One of the most beautiful places I've ever seen...

this summer was my first time camping. We stayed in cabins with about 7 other people, woke up at 6:30 almost every day and went to bed at 1 ! Those mornings were cold !!!! But the Food, was Amazing. We had an awesome Chef.

The days at Mush-A-Mush were long. We learnt so much, and did so many team building activities. It was all about training, and we absolutely LOVED it when we had breaks. I made new friends, made new bonds, and I can pretty much say that the RA's of '11-'12 are like a family now.

I was so homesick though... For the first 3 days I was disconnected from the outside world... then I got to learn that the camp had Wi-Fi !! :|  Then I just went crazy Lol. Twitter, Facebook, Pinger. Everything. But it was so nice being away from all the technology..

Mush-A-Mush had a lake and a beautiful scenery... I never got a chance to go kayaking but we did had one of our sessions in the lake. That 10 minute bath was COLD ! LOl

On the last day of camp all the returning RA's had to prepare situations that we might have to handle when get back to school. I got a gambler, a girl with hygiene issues, some guy on a ridiculous amount of steroids and drugs.! and yh.. he killed me LOL. I learnt from that ! It was good practice.. and it's funny how you think you'll handle a situation but when you're actually presented with it you freeze up a bit.

But all in all it was Great =) . I would LOVE to do it again.


 Here are photos from near my cabin:

Imagine walking through this at night. We needed a flashlight. Had to be one of the creepiest things i've ever done.

Hey guys,

Sorry I've been gone for so long... I haven't updated this thing since I've left home.. There's so much going on. My life has become Ridiculously HECTIC this year. So many labs, so much work... PLUS RA duty. This year is nothing but demanding, and I need to give it almost every single thing I have... And this is only the beginning right? Harrrrrr. I've gotten better at managing my time though... Getting things done before the deadline. Let's see if I can get them done WAYYY before due date.

But all in all, everything's going ok. When I get more of an opening, I'll tell you guys all about RA camp at Camp Mush-A-Mush, and how my first month back has been going.

Take care !
Neü..