SMNeu Upgrade.

It's the end of my second week at Saint Mary's, and so far it's been a bit of a roller coaster in every aspect... no surprise there.. I'd like to think that I'm adjusting to my new life but it seems like it's just starting to take it's tole on me.. The weather is not being kind to my already damaged hair. It's getting drier and I can't seem to find a proper moisturizer in this caucasian-catering country. I've been to so many stores and I've found no products catering specifically for the population of african descendants. There are QUITE a few of us here so I don't understand why ! hmph. The cold air is sucking up all the moisture from my skin as well.. I put on lotion religiously now. I even spend more time on my hair now.. I actually make an effort to comb, moisturize and wrap it at nights.. and then again during the day. I even take more care of my face. Those spots are really getting to me. I found a Mark Treatment so I'm hoping that it will have a good outcome. I've switched to Clean&Clear but only because I didn't find any Clearasil until AFTER I'd bought the stuff. sigh* But that's Ok. They're both supposed to be good products... and who knows, maybe this one will work out better for my skin type.


Halifax... you're not exactly living up to all I thought you would be. It isn't exactly like the US.. I can barely find what I need in stores and everything's really expensive.. But the plus side is that it ISNT a Giant city. It's a nice small enough place, with enough room to swing your arms wildly while walking downtown without knocking into anyone. I like that it rains here though.. Rainfall is always soothing to me.. and yes, it does get really cold but for now I just put on my hoodie or cuddle up under my blankets. The worst is YET to come though. Things are going to be SO much worse in about 4 months. Bring it on ! I'll take you HeadOn! I have a small sense of what it will be like.. There was a heaping of ice shavings outside the Hockey Rink. I played in it for a while and made a sculpture of a Heart. I hope it's still there.. someone probably destroyed it. I didn't have my camera so I couldn't take a picture. After a few minutes of sculpting my hands were already so numb! Ohh December how COLD you're going to be.. in more than one way..


Ready for really GOOD news though? I got my MacBookPro ! and my iTouch. I got my name engraved at the back, and my most favourite word =] You'll have to see it in person to know what it is =p. So, New laptop means that I don't have to keep running to the Den when I need a computer. I kept forgetting things in my room and remembering when I just SAT dOwn at the computer lab. sigh. It took up so much time and the rooms are so far apart. It's even more annoying when outside is COLD ! Imagine walking through all that just for one book. ugh* But that problem is dealt with. I'm content with this resolution. At least one of my problems are solved.. Now I just need a case and a bag for my little baby..


On to other things..


Classes have been alright. The first week was pretty easy. All my Biology professor's been doing is going over powerpoint presentations which he put up the day before classes, so I do get bored pretty easily in that one since I go through the slides beforehand.. I had to beat myself up to stay awake during my last class. I was so tired ! I get enough sleep so I don't know what the problem is. Maybe I sleep too much and move about too little. My internal clock is completely off! I wake up all the way at 9 or later! That's not a good thing.. especially when I have last minute things to do. And I always do! Ms Procrastination. sigh* I need to work on getting rid of that label... It's not going to get me anywhere..


Japanese !! I've been giving this the least of my attention. I must admit though, that THIS class is the liveliest of them all. You NEED to pay attention and my professor keeps you engaged. Dictation soon ! I need to memorize all my symbols. I keep forgetting them.. Well I have three more days to know them all off the top of my head, and I'm going to make use of that time.


Psychology.. There's not much I can say about this class.. Just like Biology it's a class where all we get are Power Point Presentations... I'm forever looking at the clock because all he's showing to us on those slides are what I had read from my text the night before.. Every now and then he throws in some interesting fact that I jot down but that's about it..


Calculus... Math is... I'll just leave it as that Lol. It's not that bad... but I guess I lost my love and passion for it during those last two years of post secondary school.. So many things were ruined then.. so many... but I won't go into that..


Chemistry was a bit of a headache this week... They introduced a new method of solving problems in just one line. Couldn't make heads or tails of it until today. I finally got to sit on my own and pay attention at this mini workshop class that she had today. I'm glad I decided to go. Still, every now and then I stumble unto a problem that gets me so frustrated especially when the solution's right in front of me but I'm just unable to see it for some reason. It's so demotivating! ..


There was a Chemistry exhibition today. Students displayed their research projects. They were all interesting and I was even a bit surprised when I realized that I understood what they had written on their posters lol. I expected it to seem like Greek to me but everything made sense! The mechanisms, the reasons, and I was even able to ask questions. They team up with a professor and get funding to work on projects. They work on in during the summer and some of them even continue with it during school. It's a good way to earn money and a good starting point for a thesis. I've been encouraged to get one going since it'll look good on my application for MedSchool.. This is going to be tough.. It'll have it's exciting parts but from what I've been told these projects require a lot of time, dedication, patience and knowledge.. The way my life is going right now I know I'm not ready for this... Most of them started after their second year, but some began at the end of their first. I really wanted to go back home this summer.. But if by any chance I DO get into one of those programs, the only chance I'll have to spend back home will be in the final two weeks of August.. =[. Still, I wish I had a job waiting for me back home.. Guess life doesn't always throw all you need at you. I need to get my butt moving and start heading somewhere. My GPS is still on the fritz. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going.. I can't go to the places I really want to, so all my plans are fighting with me to be the B right now.. I still don't know which one I'm going to choose.. I'll have to decide quick... Life isn't waiting for me.. I need to pull up my knee-high socks, tie my shoelaces, and kick the dirt behind me! I honestly don't know where I got that from lol or if it makes any sense for that matter. =]. .. Whatever the sacrifice, I'll have to make it..


I'm hoping to get a job on campus next semester..Hopefully there will still be some vacancies.. If not then I'll apply for one for next year for sure. I think I'll become an RA. It doesn't seem TOO bad. I just need to know my way around things... There are a ton of them, and they're really nice too, so I guess help will be if I need it. Well I know for sure I'll be sending in my application ! Came across a poster with 'volunteers needed' on it =]. It's another research project conducted at Dalhousie. That's the university neighbouring us. I think they're our enemy school lol. Even the teachers are against it lol. But I need to contact them... I'll need to visit their lab 3 times over a 120 day period, and I get $55 at the end of it. Volunteer work needs to be a big part of what I do since it'll look good on my resumes and I'll have a better chance of nailing a scholarship. But even more importantly I need the grades.. so I'm kicking a lot of habits.. I need to log onto MSN ONLY when necessary. Facebook isn't even that big of a deal anymore.. I'm still on farmville, and that's not a good thing.. I just need to make enough money to upgrade the farm and I'll be out.


I've realized that when I stay back and wait for others, it really weighs me down. They schedule their time, and I should mine. I can't have them holding me back during their Free Time so they can do what they want to.. especially if it clashes with my Study Time. At the end of the day, they'll accomplish all they wanted to, and I won't since I had to inco-operate them into my day.. So things are changing. When all my work's done, and I have a few moments to spare, THEN and only then will I make myself available to everyone until I need to settle down again. There are a few exceptions though.. some persons just can't be bound by my rules.. because I need them as much as they need me.. So I'll make time for them when they REALLY need me.


I really hope that all of this work doesn't make me Dull. I've been turning into a loner.. I miss my friends, I miss the conversations.. I miss everything... Everything here works really different. So far most of my conversations have something to do with  School. ''What program are you in?'', ''How was class?'', ''Hajimemashite!!!'' =D That has to be the most fun one lol. It means ''How are you doing'' =]. I love that language.. But I must say I miss my little Island language. I haven't exactly clicked with anyone who can speak it.. Even in my new group of friends, there are subsections.. The indians have their Hindi, there are a few who can speak French.. There's arabic, spanish and well, Lucky MeEe doesn't fit in anywhere.. =[... Even in a crowd as large as ours, I still find myself feeling alone at times and I really can't help it.. To make things worse there are so many couples on campus.. Even my roommate has her boyfriend here  ever now and then. He's nice and they're both fun. But sometimes when they fool around or even have a simple conversation I'm reminded of what I left back home.. What I can't have.. I miss him so much.. And now he's back at school so he's travelling up and down everyday.. and the busy body's still trying to keep himself active.. So at the end of the day he's so worn out that we can't have a conversation.. I try to be a sport and let him go off to bed but I'm left with this feeling of emptiness in my chest.. After looking forward to speak to him the entire day I get shut down and disappointed at the end of it all.. Life would be a lot easier if the only thing I had to concentrate on was my work.. but things aren't that way... and I'm human, I need someone to love.. and someone who'll love me back.. I'm still thankful that I have friends back home that I can lean on. I'm grateful for all of them.. but there are some things that I can only share with Him.. I had so much to get off my chest today but I didn't get a chance to.. sigh* It was this way earlier this year too.. I definitely won't be smiling if this keeps up..


That reminds me... FOOD. I can feel myself packing on ounces with every meal ! That's so terrible! There's a lot of food to choose from, and I DO get excited because I want to try it all.. but I'm realizing that this Is NOT going to help me ! And it's undoing all I'd done for the summer! Even though it wasn't much it was still something.. My first week here I barely ate.. and along came the second week and BAM! Just like that! But I'm reevaluating. I'm changing the way I eat. I really NEED to since I didn't bring a pair of sneakers with me so I can't go to the gym =[ . sigh* and working out on this cold floor will only make things even LESS pleasurable.. So I'm increasing my fruit, water, vegetable and fibre intake and I'm cutting down on everything else. I think I consume more carbs and more fat than I need.


I'll report on what things are like two weeks from now.