Today started out really brilliant =). Got up, got friends up, TRIED to get them to class but failed. -_-' !. But I still geared up my stuff and made my way to my own class.. Regardless of how tired I still was, I stuck through it.. Looking forward to 12:45 when class would be over.!
Rushed to the caf because I was HUnGRY ! Hadn't eaten all day. Plugged in my headphones and the Smiles began... Music always puts a smile on my face . =) . .. Texted my mom to check up on family and her response was completely different from what I expected.. So right there in the caf, on my way to sit with my friends... I completely lost my appetite... My grandfather had passed away....
All I could reply was 'K'.. What was I supposed to do?.. I didn't know how to feel... I can't even remember HOW I felt.. I just sat down in silence staring at her text... My mother is honestly the WorSt at delivering bad news! UGH ! ='( .... After a moment I really wanted to leave but I didn't feel like I could.. My eyes got hot and they filled up with tears.. I finally told someone what had happened.. and Jazy hugged me.. Couldn't really hold anything back then.. She tried to make me laugh.. and she did. lol. .. =( .. She had just lost her brother the week before.. It just feels like everyone's. .. leaving... I still got up and came to my room.. More crying.. It's so ridiculous.. I feel so.. lifeless right now.. I still remember the last time I saw him. We'd never spoken as much as we did that moment.. And I really enjoyed it. .. I just wish I had more of these moments.. The only photos we have together are those of me as a child.. and for some reason that just doesn't seem like enough..
I want to Break something.. but I know that won't help. I want to know how everyone back home is doing but I honestly don't even feel like speaking... I don't even feel like I can walk back into their house.. I won't be able to deal with it.. But a big part of me wants to go back.. I want to be with everyone.. but I can't...I can't cry with everyone... I can't attend his funeral.. I can't do anything.. I know it will be bad if I don't at least call but I can't muster up anything at all...
And a final exam in two days?? PISSED !!!! ='( ..... I don't want to write it.. I don't want to study... I just want a break.. ='(
I Miss You already Daddy Cyril.... I wish I got to say goodbye... But you're happier now...
We all wish you didn't have to leave us.. and that we had you for so much longer..
Our hearts are broken, our lives have been robbed and torn...
But we'll get through..
Thanks for all the Smiles you brought us.
And I'm glad we were able to make you smile as well..
We know you're watching over us..
We'll never forget you..
We'll Always Love You..
R.I.P...
