Why am I up at 2a.m.?? hm... 

I'm seeing and hearing things that are getting me lonely...

Everyone's excited about being with the one they love.. 

I didn't even remember that V-day was on the horizon.. Maybe that's why I feel this way...?

I Miss him....

And what's worse? Everybody Knows by John Legend is being sung right now. I don't think I can ever listen to that song again.. It brings back so many memories... All painful ones.. Can't deal with any of it.

The past week has been so terrible for me. It got to the point where I couldn't even muster up get up and go to class because I was feeling so unhappy. So, yesterday I missed my first two classes of the semester... But it's Ok. I'll catch up. 

Oh February... Please be nice to me..

I experience my first snow day yesterday. Classes ended at 11:30, which just made me upset because I still had to get up for an 8:30 class that morning. ugh*. And half the class wasn't there so it was a waste since we did Nothing. 

But the blizzard was pretty cool. There was so much snow and fog I couldn't see that far out from my room. Even the windows had ice on them. I didn't get to go out during it though... And my friend REFUSED to let me go outside because she didn't want me to get sick again. I REAAALLYy wanted to just into a big pile of untouched snow! It looked so gorgeous.. it glistened.. No lie =P .

I still appreciated the day off though. It gave me more time to study for that psych exam I'd been dreading. Let's hope I Ace it !

It didn't take very long for midterms to find themselves at my doorstep.. Or should I say at the door, since that's all I have.. I couldn't write the first two because I caught one death of a flu virus which had me in bed almost the whole day. So now I have to write them as well as another one all in one week. Which wouldn't be too bad if I had already studied for them.. yikes! Could barely keep my eyes open long enough to focus on any school work when I was sick too. For the most part though, the worst symptoms have faded, and I'm just left with a nasty cough. ugh* It's the most disgusting part of being sick, to me. Hearing all that phlegm.. gross ain't it? But so many people on campus are sick. Once one person has something, you're more than likely to get it too because they refuse to stay home and get better.

I've been preparing for biology. At the beginning, I really was not confident about it. For one it's all about plants and protists and fungi and blahhhh blahhh. Didn't interest me at ALL. And almost everything is new so I really AM learning this semester. After going through 322 slides in 6 powerpoint presentations, I have to admit that it's not.. that.. bad! The more you learn, the more you love, and the easier it is to remember. No more negative thoughts about Organismal & Ecological Biology. The content is still really thick and in depth, so it's a lot to take in. I'm hoping that I remember it all. The list of long and complicated names seem never-ending. I don't think I've been at my desk this long before. I still have to force myself out of bed in the morning, and it does take me a while of unintentionally falling asleep or putting my alarm on Snooze 5 times.. but the moment I get to my desk it's all work.. Just as long as I stay off Facebook, Twitter, AND Skype. It's a lot to give up but hey,

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do !

I have Spanish in the next few days and I'm almost ready for that. What I'm really worried about is Drugs and Behaviour. 

WHO told me to go take a 3000 level course? sigh* It's cause I didn't want to do any courses like Sociology or English. I'll tackle English this summer.. if things work out okay. This course has to be the most complicated one I've taken so far. In my LIFE. So many chemicals, so many processes, so many functions and WOW, the brain should be a subject on it's own, with a bunch of courses for every few parts lol. Daily reading is mandatory, and I should've started a long time ago. gr! 

Bucking Up !

No partying, no wasting time... no wasting Much time.. But I'm working more than I did last semester for sure.

Let's go Neü

Back home, we all know that there are people who'd feed on you until they got everything they wanted and then just move on to someone else. You know, those people find all the means of getting in touch with you when they need something but at any other time they're nowhere to be seen?? And in the slight chance that you get into contact with them they're always ''busy''. And sometimes, there are no limits to the things that they want from you. It could be anything from school work to money to even sex. The last one is such a HuGe factor in this place. The number of stories I've heard about this person sleeping with that one, then ignoring them afterwards, or shutting them down when they actually ask for a relationship. The only thing a lot of them seem to want to do is drink, party, get laid, and do it all again with someone new. Sickening.

I was always cautious when it came to the people I trusted, but after being here for 5 months, and hearing so many stories about what people have done, and noticing some things for myself, you really start to see how two-faced a lot of people are. You can't really do anything but look out for yourself and keep your guard up... and try not to slip because there probably won't be anyone there to catch your fall.. It's sad but it's true.

I can't make a good transition into my next point at all.. ugh* I'm too sick to concentrate... I apologize. But I'm still trying to say all I need to.

Too many people get taken advantage of.. and when it comes to matters of the heart, then it really gets to me.. That's the worst thing that anyone could play with. Too many girls get lied to and lured into doing things. They're fed so many empty promises, get their hopes high, only to come crashing down a few days later because they've found out that they mean absolutely nothing to guy... that she was one of many.. or that she wasn't his ''main''... or that he just, plain and simple, wanted to get laid. But the ridiculous thing is that somehow, they give them more chances, and the guy's feelings and actions doesn't change at all. And the cycle continues over and over, and she spirals into more of a wreck every single time.

You need to realize when you're being hopeful, and when you're just being plain stupid. Don't jeopardize your sanity for anyone. Don't put your life on hold and give your heart to someone who doesn't want it, keeps tossing it around like it's nothing, and feeds you bullshit so you could feel better for a while but JUST so he could use you again..

No one wants to be caught up in anything devastating... Life is already hard as it is... Don't make it worse by making your world revolve around people who aren't worth the time of day..


Neu

This song is unbelievable. It's been around for a while but I've only just begun to listen to it. There are a few artist whose songs hit home, and they deliver it with such passion that you feel it right in your heart.. Shontelle's done that to me with this song. There are so many songs that I can relate to situations that I'm in, or whatever's going on in my life.. I hate that I can relate to this one, but that's just how life is sometimes.. Her voice is beautiful, as is she. Keep up the good work.

Here are the lyrics.. Song along . =]

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not

My illusion, my mistake

I was careless, I forgot

I did

And now when all is done

There is nothing to say

You have gone and so effortlessly

You have won

You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof top

Write it on the sky love

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard

Falling for betrayal is worst

Broken trust and broken hearts

I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there

Building faith on love is worst

Empty promises will wear

I know (i know)

And know when all is gone

There is nothing to say

And if you're done with embarrassing me

On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof top

Write it on the sky love

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof top

Write it on the sky love

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy (i was happy)

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did

I've neglected this thing for quite some time.. . I had planned on going into detail on how my flight back was. I'll just sum it up and say that it was long and frustrating. From ridiculous passengers on the plane who were the most inconsiderate beings I had come into contact with on an airplane. Not the mention the custom worker with an ATTITUDE ! Ugh !. They had me go on a line for a random security luggage check and i MISSED my connecting flight to NY. Which led to me getting to NY more than 3 hours later than I should've been. There went my shopping plans ! *unhappy* . But it wasn't all that bad.. The guy who checked my luggage made me Laugh! =] So that turned things around.

AANNNNNDDDDDD I got to travel first class from home to MIA ! Cross THAT off my BucketLIst. ;)

My Roomie surprised me at the airport and she took me home. The next morning I woke up to a WInter WOnderland ! We almost couldn't get back to school. But it was nice to see everyone when we finally did.

So now school is back to normal.. Though I'm not. Time flies by and I find myself getting distracted.. and feeling unmotivated. The only thing I really want to do is Sleep. But when I actually get off my bed and head over to my desk, work gets DoNe and I LOVE that feeling. But I love sleeping too lol.. apparently..

It's absolutely ridiculous. Even calculus is already being a PaIn. I need to have my nose in a book for at least 10 hours every day. and it IS Possible. I'll make it happen. My GPA is already below my standards. I need to shoot it up again.

So let's go !

Happy New Year Everyone!

I really hope that there aren't any frowns !

All mine have been turned upside down and I'm Thrilled! Things are fixed and a whole lot better than they were before. Somehow we're able to speak to each other about absolute nonsense and what's more delightful is that he and my friends get along quite well. Things are looking up. =].

The new year means a new semester. I get to see my friends at school again, but I leave those here and my family behind.. I'm going to miss everyone so much.. But for now I'm enjoying their company. I'm enjoying the beach and the warmth, the sunshine and even the rain [it's not ice cold down here. Just wet :p]

I can't really recap on the year because so much has gone by. I know for sure that it was stressful, and exciting, and I probably went through every emotion known to man.. and I don't think I was the only one.

Life is Crazy!

I'm wishing everyone the best! Not just for the new year but for LIFE.

Take care!

Hope all the Neü things life brings you make you all Smile! ;)