Overcome The Things That Bring You Down..!

I haven't been myself lately and I'm not entirely sure why. There are so many things that I enjoy doing, and so many people that I enjoy speaking to but I haven't been giving them myself for the past few days. It's like I've been building walls around myself. Are they permanent though? ..I hope not.. My emotions about everything are changing for the worse. I'm beginning to feel indifferent about so many things. It's like my heart is becoming as hollow as the shell that I've trapped myself in, or it's been set on a ship that's sailed away for the moment.. Even blogging doesn't seem to bring me back to life. So I much apologize to those that have only been getting a piece of me over the past few days..


Maybe it's because of recent events... Friends are being torn apart, be it geographically or not.. Relationships that have existed the entire year are suddenly ending. And as of this afternoon he'll be 5 hours ahead of me.. sigh* I really do hope he makes it back before I leave for school.. I won't enjoy going to the airport tomorrow. Knowing the type of person I am I'll be crying so much that my eyes will want to pop out of their sockets :| . Exaggeration? No. I'm THAT pathetic when it comes to things like this... Still, I have this feeling that if I constantly tell myself that it won't affect me, and that I don't really care, I'll be indifferent about that too.. It's worked so far. But maybe this habit I've developed of constantly lying to myself about the way I feel is what's turning me into such an emotionless being.. Don't get me wrong.. I still care about people, and about things. I'm not heartless. I don't think I'll ever turn out that way.. But at this moment, I should be sad. I should be crying.. but I just feel.. emtpy..

Even my head has begun to bother me again.. It's not a pain but what i feel is indescribable. But it's difficult for me to smile when this is happening and I get really irritable. I really dislike feeling that way. I think it's acting up because lately this vulture has been trying to devour everything that I've worked for the past year. It took such a toll on me at the beginning, mostly because I hadn't expected something like That to happen, and certainly not to such a great extent.! .Our battle was tiring and frankly, it was ridiculous and it seemed pointless on my part. Battling would only take up my time and might even drain me. I'm genuinely a bubbly person, so it really isn't my style to point out flaws in other persons and pick at them. So I decided to just let her be who she wanted to be. If she wanted to call me names, let her. If she wanted to make me look bad, let her. But I know that all the things she said were lies, and her constant bashing only made her look low and immature. I would gain nothing from fighting, and I'd lose nothing from sitting it out either. So I let her use all her efforts into trying to bring me down. Unfortunately for her, it was a waste. The only thing it did to me was make me lose my respect for her. She also lost the respect of others, though being who she is she may not even care. All in all her effects have become non-existent. The emotions I felt on that day have left me and I'm content with my life again. Or at least the part of it that she tried to ruin. But I still wish her the best.

I'm really grateful for all my friends who stood up for me. Even though I asked them not to, they refused to let me take all that heat. So, Shashi n Letta, I really do appreciate all you guys do for me. ! .

I really couldn't ask for more!

..Woah. I'm glad I got THIS much written down.. It isn't much but it was enough to make me feel better. =]. I guess this really IS therapy, which is why I'll be keeping this up. !

I've learnt that sometimes it's better to just sit back while someone's out parading negativity. Eventually it will all catch up to them and they'll realize how pointless what they're doing is and everyone else will realize how immature that person really is. So many things trigger emotions which unmask who we really are.. For some people, what's underneath may be something silent, vulnerable, noble, or just plain Ugly. The unfortunate thing is that even when that hidden inner unattractiveness is revealed, some persons are still blinded by the outer appearance. For some reason they choose to remain oblivious to it even when it's right in front of them.

Personality is supposed to capture the heart.. The type that captures yours, says a lot about who you really are...