I used to be with someone whom i could be completely stupid with no matter where we were but now I'm with someone who apparently thinks there's a time and place for everything. I can't express myself. I can't be playful. I can't be me! I hate it honestly! Ugh !!! We don't even like the same music. Of all things, it had to be MuSiC. One of the things that I LOVE most of all in this life. We can't even lay there and listen to our favourite songs because what we enjoy are such opposites. The songs that make me feel mellow and content and make my heart melt are the ones he finds irritating. I have no idea HOW! He's the type to listen to R&B, and I like that.. But his old school is nothing like mine at all ! It's so sad... We don't even like to dance to the same music.. Strictly speaking he doesn't like the way I dance. So he suggested we just don't dance with each other.. Wow!



Is there really a point in being a couple if the two of you NEED to TRY to make each other happy? Should you leave when you fight everyday? When you get each other angry all the time over the smallest things? You can't see eye to eye and nothing you do ever seems good enough?


There are times when I invite him to places and he never gives a definite answer. Those times when he shows up there, he spots me but doesn't even come over to say hi. .. And I don't see him until quite a while after he's seen me! He just stays near his friends and I keep feeling like he doesn't want to be around me...

Even compliments are hard to come by.. There are times when I really do try to look special; and anyone who knows me knows I'm a bit of a mess. My hair's always a mess, I always wear jeans, t-shirts, sneakers and shorts. No skirts, tank tops, strapless, NOthing of the sort.. And on those FEW occasions when I'm in a dress and Heels, I don't get anything :/ =[ ... . . I get complimented by everyone else but his matters most to me.. I feel like I'm incapable of having him in awe.. It's so depressing...

But even with my million reasons why he and I shouldn't be together I'm still head over heels in love with him.. I want to be with him. I want to be near him. I love being his, and I love that he's mine.. 

And the fact that I'm away at school makes everything that much harder. The distance takes so much out of you it's unbelievable. He kept saying he was sad and moody because he missed me. Well now that I'm here I'm trying to spend as much time with him as I can but.. he still wants time to himself.. and sometimes I just feel like I just annoy him.. or the things I want him to do are the things he doesn't want to. We can't act stupid together and we can't be playful because ''it's not in his nature''. WHAT??? I'm only here for 3 weeks! After that I'll be gone for at least 4 months! UGH!!!! I'm really frustrated here! I'm a kid at heart. I love being cute and I love being playful. I don't care if people tell me to Grow Up. That's the most annoying thing that anyone's ever told me. I AM mature but that doesn't mean I have to act like a stiff and shrivelled old prune! 

...

Back to the issue...

I really don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this.. Really, I don't.. 

For now I just won't expect anything from him... 

Whatever happens, happens. 

I won't ask for anything and I'll keep my hopes low. 

This is so unlike me... 

I'm always so optimistic.. 

But at least this way I won't be let down.

Neü

Christmas eve started out really positive for me. I got a visit from T and everything =].. which quickly turned a bit... sour. I got upset because I basically had 2% of his attention. He played video games the entire time and I really wasn't happy about that. I got even more upset when he told me that he was leaving soon. I ended up just heading into my room and not really speaking to him. He still came to get me after a while, but only to say that he was leaving. Imagine my enthusiasm.. He did ask me to walk him out, so I did. Even though I was angry, I took his hand and held it. Truth is I don't like being upset with him, no matter what the reason is. After a while, it just doesn't seem worth it. I'm only here for a short time.

It begun to rain and he dashed off. . . Did he really think I was gonna let him walk all the way to the highway and wait for a bus? Hmph. I got my dad and we drove after him. But he'd already disappeared! He's a little ninja.. No exaggeration lol. But I spotted him. I'm a little samurai myself =]. Then off to his house we went.

Later on that night I was supposed to go to a party and meet up with all my friends. At the last minute, so many of them couldn't make it ! Imagine how upset I was =[. I really just wanted to stay home after that.. But then I went to the kitchen and the ham was cooked! Lol. :$ I took a slice and well, I was content lol. I got ready and by midnight I was on my way!




The party was worth the trouble =]. I got to see a lot of people, and the friends that made it, got me smiling. I Love my Friends.

The party ended so abruptly ! [At 2pm]. It was hilarious lol. Shameful, but hilarious. Those two hours were amazing. T finally showed up just as everything had ended. He's got some timing! I didn't mind though. Was glad that I got to see him on Christmas morning.. But then, he took a the wrong way and my night went downhill from there. I told someone off and I don't regret it at all.


Some people just don't deserve the hearts of others. Unfortunate but true. They take too many people for granted. Especially those that truly love them.

I slept through most of December 25th, waking up at 3 in the afternoon. Breakfast at 4. Spoke to T for a while, trying to make things better.. sigh* some people make everything so difficult. . I wish I could save him.

But we're on speaking terms now =]. He's content, I'm content, but someone's still upset with me. Haven't run into THAT person for the day yet. hm... I wonder what it'll be like. We'll see .!

What's really strange about this Christmas is that I barely listened to any carols. I sang so many while putting up the tree but after that, nothing really happened.. There were no presents - none wrapped under the tree anyway. I didn't really do any shopping. The 25th just sprung itself upon me. But I guess I can try to change that next year right?

I hope this isn't what a Neü Christmas is like.

Happy Birthday 

Jesus. 

We Love you.

I was so hyped up about finally being home again. I really didn't want to spend too much time in the house doing nothing, but at the moment, that's all I want to do.. In the past 3 months, I've gained so much weight; it's ridiculous.

This is what I see.
The only difference is I'm not
thin like the actual girl
in this image.

It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to look in the mirror because all I see is FAT. I had lost so much weight before I headed out and all of that hard work just went down the drain. All I have to do is get up and workout but I'm too depressed to even do that. I just want to stay locked up in my room and not be seen.. but I guess that won't get me anywhere...

As soon as my brother's done with the living room I'm going to put on my favourite workout video and SwEat. Sweating is so easy to do in this place.

Working out in Canada isn't much fun at all. The air is so cold even inside the gym. I'd be exercising and the cold air would feel like it's piercing my lungs. Not to mention I barely sweat. All that running and I'm barely getting rid of any water weight. So I'm going to try to get myself on the right track before I head back up there (I actually wrote 'home' the first time :S). It's going to be a lot colder when I get back and my body will want to cling to the fat so I'd stay warm.

Things don't look too bright right now.. Let's hope they change..

It's been LONG!! I know! I don't even want to know HOW long.. so I refuse to check the date of my last post. I'll just mention all the things I think I haven't told you guys yet.. All that I can remember anyway.

Exams are OVER.! And some grades are out already.. This semester really should have been my easiest... I'd think it should be. Things only get harder from here... They always do.. but still it took me ages to Hit the BOoks like a good university student... so there were a lot of late nights, even on the eve of the exam.. and some topics had to be rushed, and some concepts left unlearnt. Believe me, I am disappointed. My grades were good, but they weren't great..by that I mean all "A+'s". and I WANTED great. Even if I did score some A's, the fact that the little 'plus' sign isn't at the end of it makes me feel like I underachieved..

So I have a lot of adjusting to do next semester.. I couldn't concentrate as much as I wanted to when I needed to study.. Sometimes my room just wouldn't be quiet... Why not migrate to the dead silent library?.. I did, several times.. and only got things done on few occasions.. There's just nothing like the comfort of you own room i suppose.. even if it's just a dorm room.. but nonetheless this GPA of mine MUST get higher! So on this vacation of mine, I'll be studying. Don't get me wrong, I plan on having fun. A LOT of fun.. but I'll get my work done while on this little island of mine =p ! *Hint Hint* !

I gave QUITE a few people a scare when they saw me =D and I'm absolutely glad that happened. I got to make their Christmas THAT more special . No regrets there. And I'm  not done scaring yet . The surprise was ruined for some people though.. Still, they were glad to see me =] Likewise!
 I Love my Family, and my Friends ❤ 

  I Love my Home ❤

I'm glad I'm having both this Christmas

Our tree isn't up yet! So I had to put this one instead =p

I'm gonna have a Neü Christmas!

Finals are here!!

Well almost. They begin tomorrow. And for the following week and a half I will be sitting in examination rooms and racking my brain because I know I didn't study enough! We always wish that we had one more day, or that we did not waste the last 2 days laying in bed because we thought we'd have enough time to get everything done. Most of the student body is that way.



I admire the minute alumni population that actually has everything organized! It's not even that I go out and party so much, I just do nothing, because frankly I spend a quite a bit of time drifting off into my own world.. Things always seem better there so why not linger?


---> Look at this carefree fairy ..


I was hoping for All A's this semester but that's not gonna happen. I've already gotten a B in Calculus, and I don't see myself getting 90+ to bring that up to an A ! so.. I'm still gonna work my butt off.

Neu!

I really need to get rid of all those ads on my blog. They're not beneficial at all. Not to me anyway.. I allowed them all to be on there hoping I'd get paid for it..

This was during the period when I was determined to make blogging a source of income for myself. I'm still up for it but things just aren't working out apparently. So!

No cash? 

No useless ads cluttering my Darling! 

When I have the free time I'm try figuring out how to undo all of this. =[ I can't seem to remember.

In a few hours from now, (more than 3, less than 12), my friends and classmates from my old school will be graduating. The only way I'd be able to attend is if I flew home for the weekend and could make it back on campus by Monday morning at 8:30 for my exam. Possibility? Nil. So, I'll be missing it.. I really can't say that it's very smart of the organizers to host such an important event at the end of November when they know that many of the students have shipped off to universities around the globe. It's as idiotic as it is selfish. So many of us are denied the chance of a reunion with so many of the people we may never see again. Who knows if I paths will ever cross... And if they do, it won't all be in the same place at the same time... Hm..

But I want to congratulate everyone who survived SALCC !! =]

It's 1 and the morning and i'm up reading articles for psych.. and being ANNOYED by this Child. UGH !!!! I swear I just want to HIT him SOmeTimes! . MORE than SOmetimes! UGH !

and I'm hungry..

sigh.. >_>

It's 2:37 a.m in the fax, and I'm on my laptop reading up for my psych paper and talking to Lexi.. then what to i hear?

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

The loud and obnoxious continuous ringing of the fire alarm. The first one for the year in Loyola Residence. Vanier and Rice have had a couple already and they weren't happy about them at all ! So now it's our turn. I must admit I was a bit excited.. I figured it was just a drill but it turns out someone set off the smoke detector. So I put on my flip flops and make my way to the stairs. It was already crowded with students making their way downwards. I met some friends and we made our way down together. After walking down a couple of flights I learn that we're heading to the OutSide of the Building :|. Why oh WHY did I think that we'd just be going to the ground floor?? sigh* BLonde moment... So I had to walk out into 0ºC in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops. Ypp!. Only me =]. Surprisingly though, I didn't feel cold! Lucky Me. A group of us decided to wait the entire thing out in another building instead of just standing outside in that temperature.

Eventually we all made it back to our rooms. There was a rather LONG wait to get onto the elevator..

So now it's 4:07 a.m and I'm typing this up.. I'm bored, can't seem to make myself study.. or at least continue this paper.. Everyone's been feeling so BLeH about school lately.. and, I'm hungry. There are disadvantages to living in a bedroom.. No food.. and the Dining hall opens in 5 hours. SInce I had a late night last night, I slept almost the entire afternoon, so I'm wide awake. . and it just keeps getting better doesn't it. hmph. I want something to munch on.. or at least someone to talk to.. Everyone's already in bed. So it's just me, myself and Irene basically.. Maybe putting some music on will help.

Put my Neu playlist on . =]

My friends and I went to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.. Finally !

The movie I've been waiting for since I saw the Half Blood Prince.. and It was WonderFul !!!!! Considering how much of a let down the last two movies were,.. No, the last THREE Movies were, this one was a real turnaround. Everything came together nicely and I really enjoyed it. I can't remember all the details since I read the book over two years ago, but this movie did not let me down. I just wished that it was longer =[ . I could sense the end coming when Voldemort raised that wand. I literally said ''No.. Noo. Please don't tell me it's done already! NO!!!!!!!!''

*End credits* 

.. Sad Neu !! =[ It really didn't feel like I was seated in there for 2 1/2 hours. Guess that's the trait of a good movie. I felt so emotional during the movie though.. The deaths, how things were turning out, and the fact that this series, that I've been in love with for so many years is finally coming to and end =[. Part 2 will be released in July, and after that, it'll all be over.. ='[.. I hate goodbyes.. But Potter and I had some really good times. J.K made me laugh, cry, get angry, excited, EVERTHING. Truly an amazing and creative piece of writing.

I follow this blog by Audree and I absolutely loved her review. Check it out *points below*

Fabulous 35mm-"Does this make my film look fat?": Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows...

If you thought the magic was over when the movie ended you were wrong! Because I sure was! I left the mall and stumbled upon a winter wonderland!!! I was so excited! It had snowed while we were watching the movie. I LOVE Christmas ! and I've always Loved snow! Though I've never seen it till a few days ago, the thought of it always made me smile. I guess all those holiday movies and songs got to me. So we played in the snow and had a mini snowball fight. I wish I had gotten pictures but I had no camera =[ . damn ! Unfortunately we couldn't play for long because my hands were freezing! Snow is cold Lol. :$ So the night ended quite well. My hair got a little wet from the melted snow, but I didn't mind.. Not one bit.

So for the while, I'm happy. Happy with the snow, not so much with the cold.

Another exciting thing that happened to me though... On my way to dinner, I saw one of the worker [The Jolly one that reminds me of Santa Clause =D] had 3D Glitter Glue, and was about to write on the window glass. I asked if I could do it and he said yes :O ! Can you believe it??? =D. He's so nice. lol. So I wrote it in Red with Green accents, and drew a Christmas Hat on the C. When I was done he told me to sign my name on there. WHAAAAAAAT!!!?????? No way... My night just got Better lol. So for this holiday season, my name is written quite nicely on glass. I hope I get to snag a picture of it before they take it off.

...It goes to show you that you should be open every once in a while.

Never be afraid to experience something Neü..

Hey !!

It's been Ages since I've written anything on here! I know that! Time just flies by so quickly. So I'll fill you in on all that's happening right now..

Unfortunately I don't have anything heartfelt to write about right now, so I'm just letting you guys know how things are going with me.

Midterms are done. All of them ! My results were good =] . but not as good as I wanted them to be so I am a bit disappointed... but that's alright I guess.

But right now I'm behind on studies !! And I've had some First .


- First time i drank Coffee!

I was so hyper i felt like I was Tipsy ! Honestly ! It was crazy. I was walking around the cafeteria and things were flying past me. I couldn't sit still at all :| . I won't be drinking that stuff anymore! But I will admit that it kept me awake. Biology is so draining. All we do is listen to the prof, and it's all stuff I know already. Hopefully this will change when I'm learning something new because I don't want my most loved subject to turn into my most hated. =[





-First time I Skipped a class

Yes, I skipped a class.. I was hoping to go the entire year without missing any but =[ .. I felt so weak after Calculus; my eyes were rolling to the back of my head and moving around uncontrollably. I just couldn't stay awake. I went up to bed and woke up 2 1/2 hours later and I felt AmaZinG. I wish I could feel that way every time I woke up.. I fall asleep at 3 and wake up at 7:30 Mondays and Wednesdays.. and 9 the other days. And I'm so inactive in this place, so it feels like my metabolism is going down. =[. Back home there was so much walking, and people to walk with. In this place, it's so cold that you just want to stay in bed. I never really want to go outside because my hands feel almost frozen ! I go to the gym but if feels almost pointless because it's too cold to sweat! Even with the windows closed the air is so painful to take in. I can't wait to get used to this. The worst part, everyone says to me ''this weather, is actually nice. Wait till January, THAT's when it gets cold!" So. I'll be waiting for January apparently! But honestly, it can take it's cool time thanks !


-First time I walked out of a class early

It's not as mad as skipping a class, but I left Bio when we still had 20 minutes left. Couldn't keep my eyes open.. End of Story


-First time I missed a Quiz

Everything Thursday, we have a quiz at the beginning of class.. After I left Bio early, I took a nap. Someone work me up 10 minutes before class and well.. I wasted time I got there 10 minutes after class had begun, and for the first time the prof didn't let a late-comer write the quiz and collect it after about 5 minutes. :| She just told us NO. And I'm a good student! =[ PUnishment? Karma? hm... Early to bed, early to rise.. My psych paper is supposed to highlight the importance of sleep. I have a ton of articles to read and I've barely touched one. [Behind on work ! ] .. So eventually I'll know the real importance of sleep.. But I need to ... work =[.


-First time I had Indian Food

It was Indian Night at the caf.. So yyp Indian Cuisine. I need to describe the food here in detail in another blog ! ''Life at SMU'' . oooooooooooo.. But some of it was Ok =] I enjoyed it. But it's fattyyyy. I want food from back home .. miss it so much..

.. My first NIght ClubbiNg that is!!

ƒ ü N

Last night I went to The Dome. aka The Dirty Dome. With good reason! The people there find it necessary to give everyone beers in bottles and drinks in Glass Cups! Are they SerIous??? In a place where so many people drink Way tOo Much and get WasTed, you do NOT want to waste MOre money buying glasses all the time. Not to mention all the broken glass on the floor is a Major Health Hazard. Some unlucky girl had the chance of proving that.. She got knocked out in the end. . Unfortunate...

But I shouldn't be speaking about the end of the night before the beginning!

So it was my first night clubbing and I was excited! I finally wore this top that I bought over a year ago! It's just been sitting in my drawer waiting to be worn.! I didn't even get a full body picture, so I guess I won't be putting any up here..
Took the bus to get there and the people on there were so LOUD ! Outside was freezing too by the way. My gloves do NOT help. These hands of mine have NO insulation at all..

When I got there I was a bit nervous.. since none of my partying friends were there, thought it wouldn't be fun. They're all back home.. *saddened* .. But I met up with more friends and this girl! I met her for the first time there and she turned out to be quite FUN ! I owe her for what she did for me that night ^_^.

We scouted guys.. Not much luck.. for me anyway. All the decent looking guys I saw had something wrong with them.. One turned out to be a pig.. and his dancing was.. well.. moving on. ! . I'm already a terrible dancer so if I don't even like the way you dance then.. wow. but anyway.. Some people are just pretty faces right?.

Luckily though, a bunch of the guys that I hang out with FINALLY made it to the club after being on the line for about an hour + ! Poor them... So the night turned out to be fun.

. I left before the club closed to avoid the Rush..But the guys wanted to stay until the end so I left them all behind and I made my way home. My ride Bailed on me though.. SuPer.!!! But I'm a big girl. Took care of myself.

Got home at about 3:30 n went to bed at 5 =p ! Woke up at 1, ate, slept lol, and woke up at 5:30. I was TIRED lol. and I still am ! But there's work to be done so I'm pulling my socks up ! Literally lol.

Anyway,

Be Good Everyone =] !

Neü..

It's good to be nice to people. It's the Neu way of doing things.

I finished my last midterm today. Thank goodness that's over.. and they weren't that bad. Biology went well, and calculus went SOO much better than I expected ! I'm definitely getting an A in that!.. Overconfidence?? =[ Hm.. Guilty thoughts now.. I'll rephrase. ''I THInk I managed an A =]''. Betterrrr. Psych.. hm.. I had it and calculus on the same day.. so I kept switching back and forth. But I needed to put a lot more effort into psych. Recitations give us practice each week, unlike psych where we don't have weekly quizzes or anything of the sort.. And I felt like I was learning some of the things for the first time. It wouldn't be so bad if I could actually stay awake in class! I don't know why but I'm so drained in there. In calc. as well but it's not so intense. But I'm fine in spanish. Maybe it's because of the interaction. We get to do work for spanish, and write stuff down for calc. With psych, we just listen to the lecturer as he explains slides which can be found online so we don't really need to pay that much attention. Everything on there and more is in the text book anyway.

So next on the list: Finals ! My only opportunity to make up for psych! If i get a B in this midterm I think I'll cry... So I'll be reading ahead. Not just reading.. but STudyIng! Understanding everything and keeping it all in my noodle. That'll help avoid the late nights and 4 hour sleeps.

I nearly overslept for the Biology midterm today :| . Thank goodness for my roomie. I kept setting the alarm for 5, 10 or 20 minutes longer, but I forgot to reset it after the last time it went off. She woke me before the exam started. Grateful! But I slept through my extra studying time.. Good thing I had already showered that morning, so I was dressed and ready. Just had to grab my stuff and run out of there.

I had 2 nightmares during that nap. In both of them, I woke up at 12:35pm ! And my exam started at 11:30 am . So I'd missed my exam! . I freaked out so badly I woke up screaming :| . Bad dream... terribly bad dream... and even after I woke up I went back to bed because I was so tired.. Maybe those dreams were a forecast of what would've happened. If roomie wasn't there I really WOULD have slept through that midterm! *sigh* Gotta Love her..

Advice? If you have to take the elevator, NEVER leave for an exam less than 15 minutes before it starts! There's the elevator rush just before classes, where everyone's trying to get onto one, so it stops on a million floors before it gets to you, and stops on a million floors on your way down to pick more people up.

Pretty soon I'll be put up a post about all the Do's and Don't's, and the Like's and Dislikes for ~SMU~

It'll be a Long one! ;)

Things seem to be going downhill again... It's nothing extreme at the moment, but nonetheless it's not something I enjoy.. I'm having those moments when I just want to break down and cry for no apparent reason... Or maybe I just haven't come to terms with everything. Things are getting to me but I'm trying to pay little to no attention to them so I can try to keep my chin up. I guess they're sneaking out every now and then.. One minute I'd be laughing with my friends, and the next my smile would just disappear and I find myself staring at my lap. Maybe it's the stresses of work.. It hasn't gotten too heavy put I have exams coming soon.. Three next week.. It really isn't anything to cry about. Not right now.. I have enough time to work everything out.. So why do I feel this way? This mood is making me feel so uncomfortable that I don't have the motivation to do anything. The hours fly by so quickly. I'd set so many goals in the morning and accomplish almost nothing by the time I crawl into bed.. And I know if I continue like this my head will explode when things ReaLLy hit rock Bottom. 


I'm still aiming to get all A's. I know I can do that for Spanish. Biology should be easy but right now we're on that topic that I never really grasped in A Level.. So I really do need to read it.. Psychology is pretty much the same story. New stuff so I really need to read and understand what I'm doing. I think I'll be making use of my study guide. There's also this sleep journal that I need to complete. I've been at the same point for a whole month now. Procrastination at it's best huh? hm.. Chemistry's actually going well. The only real issue is Calculus. A LOT of practice is necessary. And with only 9 days to perfect everything that I've learnt in a month and a half?.. It's possible.. 


I just need something to pick me up of this God forsaken mood. ! sigh* I don't want to go down. I need to do good. I NEED to. I don't think I can emphasize just how much I want to succeed at this. I'll get out of this state. I MUst. Somehow... I'll do it.


Neu ✧ ..

A put that birthday post up too early ! Apparently the night of the 19th had More SurPrises !


I had planned to stay in and study for Chemistry, but at the last minute I decided to go with Jazy to Sobey's. I really wanted sliced bread.. I was out of money though. No access to the ATM. NO Scotiabank ones on campus. sigh* How inconvenient !..So she said she'd get it for me. haha =]. Bday PResent!. When we got down, S.V was like, ''why'd you bring her? :|'' her being Me. :P He was gonna get me something ^_^ . But oh well. We went along our merry way out of the warmth of Loyola Res. and into the chill. I was still HYped ! So i felt quite warm. Danced along the way to the supermarket. I had a list of Birthday tunes: My Head by Jason Derulo, Whip My Hair by Willow Smith [she's this lil kid everyone's crazy about at the moment.. with good reason. Has a decent style and the song's nice and catchy].., WAKA WAKA by Shakira of course !! <-- that one right there's special.. and Dynamite. S.V said he'd get me whatever I wanted :O ! Birthday Treat !! XD YAy!!! Excited? YES ! But i kept things low lol. Didn't want to send him OverBoard. He brought up the idea of having a get-together with everyone since I hadn't planned on doing anything for the night.. So yes, we got a cake, snacks and some drinks [Tookie Tookie !!] 


Shopping took ForeVEr !! I didn't even notice the time fly by so quickly. We had to rush back to the school to try to get some dinner. I had no jacket and my arms were semi frozen by the time I got back to school. Rushed to the dining hall and they were closed ! ugh ! Had to turn right back around. S.V brought some of the stuff back to my room with me. I opened the door and saw this GiaNt Cake :| !! Roomie !!!! I did NOT Expect that! Lol. I literally screamed.! I was so close to crying too ='[ !! She even had gifts too.  Hugs HUgs HuGS ! That SNeaky little girl !.hmph.



I had bought a ton of candles at Sobey's lol. SO they came in handy !. They sang me Happy Birthday. I made a wish and Blew out my candles. *I Hope it comes true*. 


S.V contacted everyone and things were on in the Lounge 2 hours later. I was hyper again !!! Couldn't stop movin ! I wish I took more pictures though !. We had a Caribbean shot XD haha. [I woke up N.M so he cud Join] and I had the SMU glass. WEeeeeee Tookie TOokie is my Friend =] . The girls got together and ran around the place lol. thAT was fun. I shouldn't say what we were doing though lol. Nothing bad, nothing inappropriate. But we ended up outside, lit some starlights and ran with them. oh DAMN we were loud lol. But it was fun !. The entire night was fun =].


Things settled down by 12.. and we went off to bed. Had an 8:30 class.


But I must say I really LOVED my 19th Birthday =]. All this really wouldn't have happened without all those guys. Especially S.V =p. Yp yp! My planner. Those guys really made me feel welcomed.. I'm starting to feel more at home here at SMU . Guess all I needed was time.


Here's to a happier Neu. ;)
Hope everyone out there's happier too. We all deserve it.


As to everyone who was a part of my birthday 


Thank You !

=D It's a NEU day ! Literally =D

Finally turned 19 !! And I must say I'm having a rather Lovely time ! Not necessarily because of the age, but I'm just happy with so many things !! Especially having all those people who love me in my Life.

I spent the eve of my ßirthday in my room listening to music and tweeeeeeting and I developed at little High on that lol. It was WONDERFUL !. I got to be in on a little SurPrise for ONe of my Friends ! I think that's how it all started LOl . She was so Psyched ! Yes ! Mission Accomplished! Glad I made her SMile ^_^ ! So she's going to be QUITE happy for the rest of the year for SUre. !

I got a lot of BIrthday WIshes ^_^ and I'm thrilled because they're all from people I do consider Friends and More, and not just from those ppl that you just have on ur friends list bcuz you just know them... SO every ONe of them Made me SMile. And those who sent the Multiple ones to satisfy differnt time zones made me LAugh! Especially the PHone Calls Lol. SOmeone decided to wake me up at 7:47 ! What a WAY to Make my morning LOL. then More followed Horrahhh ! My roommate's telling me Happy BIrthday EVEryTIme she sees me LOL. She is SOmething ~! 

I wish I had a candle so i cud stick it in a cupcake in the caf ! lol Sing Myself a SOng. Make a WIsh n *poooooooooof* 

But I'm having a WOnderFUl day =D. You could've definitely seen me skipping around campus lOl. But feeling this way is preventing me from getting work done ! So i can't be in this wonderful mood all the time =[ desafortunadamente !!!!! But i'll make it work somehow !! =D 

So I wanna thank everyone for elevating my Mood ! Exponentially ! =D !!!

Can't wait to go CLubbing !

Can't wait to get back HOME !! Gerr ! =D

WEll i guess NOW i can say I'm really 

On to Sømething Neü ! =p

I don't know where I got this from but it's terrible!!! I don't even know what it is for that matter.. It started with a a sore throat and a headache, then a few coughs here and there.. and now I have this unbelievably painful headache ='[ . I think ''headache'' is an understatement... With every pulse I feel pain.. so much that I can barely open my eyes. I have to be so careful because it happens when I walk, or bend over, or shift my head too quickly... My head's never hurt so badly before.. My face is swollen, my eyes are red.. and I have a chemistry midterm coming up and I couldn't get anything done. All I could do was just lay there with my eyes closed. Even then the pain wouldn't go away.. and I'd be awake for hours because I couldn't fall asleep. sigh*. I have so much work to get done.. I hope this thing goes away quickly because I honestly don't want to deal with it. .  .

My Thursday began pretty cheery. I took part in a Psychology Research Study which only lasted about 4 minutes. It took me quite a while to find the room though. I've already been in this school for about a month and a half and there are still parts of it that I've never seen. In the midst of getting completely lost, I discovered this cozy lounge in McNally Main. It's pretty quiet there so it's a nice place to relax. Hopefully I'll be able to find it again! So this survey earned me 1 bonus point for Mind and Brain ! =] Happy Me! I was bummed because I missed the first study that I qualified for and I didn't fit the criteria for any of the others that kept coming in after that. I checked later that afternoon and !! :O ! More Studies were up !! I signed up for 2 more. So I'll be getting 5 Bonus POints in total =] and I am Happy with it! Will keep looking for more opportunities.

I went over to the library for the first time today. Got into a cubicle and laid all my stuff there. I did work for 4 hours ! I was proud of myself =] ! . But then... I began to feel sick. =[ . I developed a cough and a headache too. =[... and I looked like a mess.. I couldn't get any practice done for my Calculus recitation the next day.. but it turned out to be easy enough.

I had to visit the students center in the Rain !! The wind was so strong on my way back to Loyola that I literally had to take 1 step every two seconds! sigh*. So i got drenched. A while after I had my chem lab, which didn't turn out bad at all. It lasted longer than I expected it to.. was done all the way at 5:30, but I didn't mind..

Two of the elevators to Loyola Residence are DOWN.. so you can imagine the wait to finally get to my dorm room.. Right now I'm just laying on my bed with a sore throat. The coughs are still there but at least the headache's gone.. My roommate's gone for the weekend so I'm here on my own. I need to get my lab done and study for my Chem exam on friday... I really want to do good in that one.. My Calculus exam is coming up soon too and I'm struggling with LImits! It's the most annoying thing I've encountered so far. I guess that's just because I haven't grasped it properly yet... I'll work it out. It's no use whining about it when I do nothing to try to understand it better.. 

For the while I'm still trying to deal with this Whatever it is. I hate feeling this way. But at least it's now and not during exams.. Hopefully my immune system will get a boost from this and I'll be fine all winter. HopeFUlly.

As usual, it seems that I make a decision at the very last second. It's not like I take forever to mull over my options... Ideas, or realizations, just seem to pop into my head when there's barely any time left. Even witty comebacks come to me hours after the event. I don't even need to be thinking of what happened.. They just.. ''pop up!''.


I've been studying Japanese and it's no surprise to those who've been reading that I really enjoyed it. The teacher was always energetic. He had a lot to share and he kept us all engaged. It really was my favourite! Midterms were coming up though.. and I got scared.. I hadn't been devoting as much time to it as I did my other subjects, and not nearly as much time as I should be giving it on the whole. The night before class, I'd just pick up my book and drill in some vocabulary and it would get me through the class but I still felt like I was robbing myself of the opportunity to get a decent GPA.. Ultimately, I'd do terribly if I kept this up... So, I asked my friends about their courses and decided on Spanish. =].. I always had a liking for it anyway.. so it's not so bad. Considering that I spent 5 years learning it, you'd think I'd be more fluent though ! I still feel like such a novice... but it'll be much easier to pick up than Japanese since I know some of the vocabulary and grammar and what not..


Class is on Mondays and Wednesdays at 8:30 a.m. so I have to wake up ! Which I was actually able to do today ! =] I'm proud of myself =] ! I've been going to bed no earlier than 2.am lately. My internal clock was so off. But some how I got up at 6:35. Got all my stuff together so I could get dressed in the bathroom, and somewhere near the end of my shower I realize that I.. forgot.. my towel... sigh*!!! But I got dried somehow ! Lol. I did.


Got all my documents today, and made all the arrangements to change my classes. So as of today, I officially say


          Sayōnara Nihongo 

                  [さようなら日本語] 

                                          y 

¡Hóla español! =]

I better to exceptionally well in this ! . .

It doesn't seem like I've been writing like myself lately... or maybe that's just me.. I've been a little out of element but I'm trying to get back in...


I've abandoned so many things since I've come here... My music especially !!. That's one of the things that really made me who I was.. Music has complete control over me... I had my iPod where ever I went to: on my way to school, walking in town, on my way to class, in the shower! Everywhere. No matter how sad I was, there was always a song that come put a smile on my face... and no matter how happy I was, there was always a song that could bring me to tears.. I think the sadder moods fit me better.. No where as far as depression though.. Maybe somewhere closer to mellow. I'll always have my moments when I'm unbelievably hyper, like last night, but I like when things are slowed down.


After dinner last night, I couldn't sit still. I was literally running up and down campus. Eventually two friends and I decided to go downtown. To do what? We had NO idea Lol. We walked up and down in the cold, which really wasn't that bad. It would be a really nice thing to do with a special group of friends.. or maybe just one special friend.. It made me a bit sad because I miss everyone so much, but I had a good time. We did some exploring, did some shopping and got the bus back home. THaNk GOODNESS we got that bus lol. I'd have probably turn into an icicle.

I spent Saturday with my roommate and her family. We hand Thanks Giving Dinner. THat was fun ^_^. The dog was HUGE ! :| . I didn't get a picture of it though. i was Exhausted after i ate! Slept on the way back. We saw pumpkin people ! 

They were pretty cool. They use the pumpkins as the head and clothe them to look like different characters. The ones we stopped to see had the themes Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings.

I got no studying done, which really is terrible.. I had so much planned for this Long weekend and I haven't gone through with anything. I hate this side of me! But some days you really don't feel like doing anything.. And this cold weather makes you just want to stay in bed. I don't want to sit at my desk because it's right next to my window. The air is icy cold these days, and all you want to do is wrap yourself in your sheets. At the moment I'm under a cover sheet, blanket AND a comforter, and sometimes that isn't even enough.. My lips, my skin, my hair. hmmm. 

I visited Bath and Body Works and that was a really good idea =]. I'm actually using those lotions and the scents make me want to use them more. In this weather, investing in lotions and moisturizers is a Must. My hair's a bit better now that I've gotten a decent set of products. Every now and then I take the scent of the shampoo in my room and it's so0o0o wonderful =] ! It's a bit stronger now but it still feels dry.. I can't find any moisturizers in this country! sigh* Maybe I should get some shipped to me... Even back home I didn't have a decent one. .


I'm trying to make things better.. I have a lot to do, and a lot to take care of.. hm... 


I'll work it out. 


Till next time. 


;) ! ¡§.∞Neu∞.§!

My baby D's in love with this song.. 

and with good reason! GoOoO Ke$ha! 

This song makes me feel really hyped.!

 I can always count on it to pick me up.

Lately, I've been on a Ke$ha HIGH!

I don't know why I'mm only just discovering this chick. She's Amazing.!.. So 'Amazing' might just be too strong a word... but her songs make me Smile =], and they trigger certain emotions, and take me to different places.. Here are my favourite ones.. so far anyway =]

                              ''Your Love Is My Drug''

                                               ''TiK ToK''

                       ''Take It Off''

                                        ''Blah Blah Blah''

       ''H.u.n.g o v e r''

                                                     ''Kiss 'N Tell''

Hungover is the only one on that album that's completely different from the rest. It's more heartfelt and I almost cried the first time I heard it..

I posted it on here so you could have a listen. The vid is cute too ! It's about time she Make one for it.!

And now the sun is rising

And now the long walk back home (back home)

There's just so many faces,

But no one I need to know (need to know)

In the dark I can't fight it, I fake til I'm numb

But in the bright light,

I taste you on my tongue

Now the party's over

And every bodys gone

I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong

And now my heart is broken

Like the bottles on the floor

Does it really matter?

Or am I just hungover you?

Ah ah ah, ah ah ah

Or am I just hungover?

Even my dirty laundry

Everything just smells like you (like you)

And now my head is throbbing

Every song is out of tune

Just like you

In the dark I can't fight it 'til it disappears

But in the daylight

I taste you in my tears

And now the party's over,

And every bodys gone

I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong

And now my heart is broken

Like the bottles on the floor

Does it really matter?

Or am I just hungover you?

Now Iv'e got myself looking like a mess

Standing alone

Hear at the end try to pretend but no,

I put up my fight

But this is it this time (this time)

Cus I'm here at the end, tryin to pretend

Here at the end, tryin to pretend

Oh, ohhh

And now the party's over,

And every bodys gone

I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong

And now my heart is broken

Like the bottles on the floor

Does it really matter?

Or am I just hungover you?

Ah ah ah, ah ah ah

Or am I just hungover?

And now the party's over,

And every bodys gone

I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong

And now my heart is broken

Like the bottles on the floor

Does it really matter?

Or am I just hungover you?

Ah ah ah, ah ah ah

Or am I just hungover?

Ah ah ah

Or am I just hungover?...